Alternative
BDSM
Clubs
Dominant
England
Fetish
Fetlife
Kink
London
Metal
Music
Submissive
The writer points out that it isn't always easy being a dominant and we don't always want to be the one in charge, however, it has made me think about how different I am now to before.
I feel, in the three years since I've joined Fetlife, I've made leaps and bounds in my mental health and my happiness. I no longer have the relationship with my wife that literally clouded my whole entire consciousness to the point that I couldn't be happy for any extended period of time. I no longer live in what was a toxic environment where I was exposed to the constant stream of bad news and drama that plagued me and those who lived there.
One of the added bonuses from the growth of the last few years is not only leaving my wife and my mind being clearer, I also feel that being listened to and not constantly having the piss taken out of me (by the friends I've made on the Metal and Alternative scene, not so much at home ha), I have been able to assert myself more and actually feel like I'm being listened to and not always being put down but those who are whittier and have more assertive than me.
I believe I have stuck up for myself more, tried to engage instead of sitting back and just listening. I've never been one who enjoyed sitting in a group of people and just debating about the more important of subjects because those with bigger personalities, funnier and sometimes, just louder voices, will always be heard over someone like me, but thankfully, with the vast majority of the people around me now, that doesn't seem to be much of a problem, thankfully.
Maybe it's partly that the kink people respect me more (I am still wondering why haha) and they value what I have to say, or I am able to put myself better to the kinky people than those who are not part of those circles? Who knows.
Anyways, just some thoughts I thought I would put down.
How being a Dominant has helped me in my vanilla life.
I read a recent blog post on Fetlife earlier, and it's made me think about what kink has done for me.The writer points out that it isn't always easy being a dominant and we don't always want to be the one in charge, however, it has made me think about how different I am now to before.
I feel, in the three years since I've joined Fetlife, I've made leaps and bounds in my mental health and my happiness. I no longer have the relationship with my wife that literally clouded my whole entire consciousness to the point that I couldn't be happy for any extended period of time. I no longer live in what was a toxic environment where I was exposed to the constant stream of bad news and drama that plagued me and those who lived there.
One of the added bonuses from the growth of the last few years is not only leaving my wife and my mind being clearer, I also feel that being listened to and not constantly having the piss taken out of me (by the friends I've made on the Metal and Alternative scene, not so much at home ha), I have been able to assert myself more and actually feel like I'm being listened to and not always being put down but those who are whittier and have more assertive than me.
I believe I have stuck up for myself more, tried to engage instead of sitting back and just listening. I've never been one who enjoyed sitting in a group of people and just debating about the more important of subjects because those with bigger personalities, funnier and sometimes, just louder voices, will always be heard over someone like me, but thankfully, with the vast majority of the people around me now, that doesn't seem to be much of a problem, thankfully.
Maybe it's partly that the kink people respect me more (I am still wondering why haha) and they value what I have to say, or I am able to put myself better to the kinky people than those who are not part of those circles? Who knows.
Anyways, just some thoughts I thought I would put down.
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