None of these are easy, in fact, they are all pretty hard actually but the more we do these things, the more we learn coping patterns that can help ease our difficult situations. 

I think that I tend to want to take to helping others, making a blog or Youtube vid, wit the vain hope that it might actually help or comfort someone. 

I'm not amazing with words, I get confused really easily, stumble on my words and when pushed and made uncomfortable, back down to completely silent because of confidence issues, not to mention my learning difficulties, but the possibility to help someone through some of the pain I go through daily makes these things easier to cope with. Although I like my job and very much want to stay here, I think my perfect job now, would be to work in helping or counselling those who need help with depression, anxiety and mental health issues. I'd never get the qualifications needed to be a full counsellor but on some kind of advice line would be great and so rewarding for me. I know that is a selfish view to have but being that I have had trouble in most of my jobs with my energy levels, let alone with motivation, but I can see that being a big thing that will help me get up and into work every day. My current job has been great for that and apart from a week of illness due to a possible chest infection (which led to Sinusitis on top of a chest infection which is why I took a whole week off) I've only had one sick day off since I started in September, which is utterly incredible for me. 

One thing I've started recently is getting hold of some Adult colouring books. You may laugh, but there is a lot of study going on, on how beneficial it is to a mind to just be able to switch off and just do something that doesn't require tons of thought, while keeping your hands busy. I done a few while watching the recently leaked episodes of Game Of Thrones. Here are some progress photos... I didnt realise somewhere out of focus until I looked att hem not long ago, whoops!

Link  Link  Link 

https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&es_th=1&ie=UTF-8#q=adult%20colouring%20books%20facebook%20groups&es_th=1

I've bought tickets to go to the next Antichrist club night which I'm looking forward to going to. It's a fun night out, the music isn't amazing for my taste but I get to hang out with some great people and just be myself around my friends on the fetish scene. I do find it quite different from being out with "Vanilla" friends, as much as I love my friends who are not on the Fetish scene, once you start hanging out with people who tend to be a lot more open-minded in their attitudes towards sex and such, it's hard to "close that door" again and remember to sensor yourself slightly. As open minded as a lot of my friends are, I know some hardcore piss takers and it's hard enough to cope with normal jokes and ribbings, let alone those that would come from mention the kinks I am into,